Explicitly Ours

I cant find myself

2009-10-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

t was hard to make a decision.
It was tough that I understand.
It is I who needs to find salvation.
But not that don't I want to, it's just that I cant.

I don't want to hurt anyone,
but I need to do this for me.
I know I shouldnt,but I want,
because I couldnt find a place to be.

I'm lost in my own world,
not having the right to say something.
I'm just a normal girl,
who lost herself through fighting.

I don't know who's right,
I don't know who's not.
I just wished I could take a flight,
to where no one would see me rot.

I dont belong here,
I don't belong there.
I know no fear,
but I dun know to whom I should share.

It was supposed to go back to the way it was,
it was supposed to be over.
But I cant get rid of the cause,
above me a black cloud hovers.

I'm broken inside,
ofcourse no one could see it,
I wish to follow the tides..
Who seems to flow with ease..

It was tough for you to take two
and I thought it's ok
but I ended up breaking myself too
and I wish I could fade away

I don't know who I am,
I don't know where I should go,
do I have more friends?
or do I have more foes?

who could decide..
I don't know..

By: Shield Maiden

Vengeance

2009-08-23T08:58:00.002+08:00

Vengeance

Years past quietly
The stars rise with the night
The deep heart beats silently
A deep grudge grew inside

Never will it forget
The pain that happened
Neither will it fail to get
What it always wanted

Crawling out from the abyss
It shouted and swore
The time it’ll never miss
The time it will always remember and adore

Pitiful them…
Clothed with happiness
Have they forgotten the heart they condemned?
Clothed with darkness

Fall they will one day
As the heart sits down and wait
For it’ll never always go their way
“It never did…” the heart said…

By: Shield Maiden

Depressed, Dissapointed

2009-02-07T22:18:00.009+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl

who thought she had everything in her world

The perfect love, the perfect friends

but too bad for her, it was all planned.

One day she was betrayed

By the very people who she cared

Depressed and dissapointed she ran away

from all the lies that was created and shared

How could this have happened?

She thought to herself.

Her life like a a paper was crumppled

And she was left crying by herself.

Who are the people who she called friend?

Who are the people who she love so much?

Are they more of a foe than a fiend?

Or is it just a piece of another lie or such?

She swore never to forgive them

and that she hated them like never before

but deep down inside her heart

she's not the person she is anymore

She's confused and sad

is she that bad??

It doesnt matter what she say

because the light in her heart, has gone away.

By: Shield Maiden

I'm sick of people

2008-10-04T22:11:00.008+08:00

I'm sick of people

trying to make me do what they want

I'm sick of people

trying to be mine when they're not the one

I'm sick of people

talking about who I'm not

I'm sick of people

who's trying to make my life rot

I'm sick of people

who always pushes me to my limit

I'm sick of people

forcing me to do things when my heart's no in it

I'm sick of people

trying to control my destiny

I'm sick of people

who can't understand the real me

I'm sick of people

who thinks they're so good

I'm sick of people

who don't respect people when the should

I'm sick of people

I'm sick of you

I'm sick of living

I'm sick of everything!!

By: Shield Maiden

Finding Me, Finding You...

2008-10-04T22:08:00.007+08:00

When I look down

at the road I took

I realize now

I've lost my one & only hope

From far away

I call your name

For my life ahead

won't be the same

Behind this smile

lies a lonely girl

who all this while

is still finding her world

She search for the truth

Of her own true feeling

in may be brute

but that's he only hope of living

By: Shield Maiden

Sick and Tired

2008-09-26T23:57:00.007+08:00

I'm sick and tired of being pushed around
Of being the only one who can
Of having to hide my frown
Of ending when I've just began.

I'm sick and tired of having no one
Of trying to make things right
Of you criticising what I've done
Of myself being not alright.

I'm sick and tired of being asked
Of being 'just as required'
Can't you see I'm heavily tasked,
Oh! I'm just so sick and tired!

By: Queen R

This Ramadhan

2008-09-02T05:42:00.009+08:00

This Ramadhan,
I seek Your forgiveness
From my sins and ruthlessness
Or from my forgetfulness and carelessness
Yaa Rabb, Grant me Your graciousness.

This Ramadhan,
To You this promise I'd make
In the wee hours I'd wake
My Iman please do not shake
Yaa Rabb, all I do is for Your sake.

This Ramadhan,
I'd pray for this world to be at peace
Facing the kiblat on my knees
I need no nuns nor the priests
Ya Rabb, to You, my love will increase.

This Ramadhan
Will not be like the past Ramadhan
For I have grown from a young one
All my mistakes may it be undone
Ya Rabb, to You this journey I run.

By: Queen R

A girl & a boy

2008-08-12T22:18:00.008+08:00

This is a story of a girl

Living in her secret world

A hidden fear lies in her

That no one knows or ever hears

There's a story of a boy

Who's always so coy

He's attractive as can be

But don't realise that he is

They met one fateful day

In such and awkward, strange way

They become friends in an instant

Yet they are so very distant

The girl fell for him

Like fire lighted up when it's dim

Her world changed

Her destiny rearranged

Should she tell the boy?

That he's her laughter & joy

Or should she not reveal

What she has kept concealed?

She waits for the right day

To tell him what she has to say

Praying everything would be okay

That it won't end in dismay

By: Shield Maiden

How I Wish

2008-07-29T23:28:00.008+08:00

How I wish
That this wouldn’t happen
That you’ll accept me with arms wide open
That the past will be forgotten
That you would be filled with contentment

How I wish
That you would know
How hard I tried to show
What’s hidden behind this sorrow
What lies between this holler

How I wish
That this wouldn’t end
That you would understand
That I treat you more than a friend

How I wish
That I can control destiny
So I could know what lies ahead of me
So that decisions could be made quickly
So that I wouldn’t die lonely, painfully

By: Shield Maiden

Bird Shit

2008-07-13T15:02:00.009+08:00

(This poem contains some Singlish)

Last week I went to town,
Where people like to walk walk,
Some look at me up down,
Their faces like got shock!

I think got something wrong,
Maybe I look like clown,
I feel like a blur sotong,
On my face now got frown!

So I must go toilet fast,
See mirror on wall,
In the toilet at last,
Toilet of the shopping mall.

I look at my face in the mirror,
I see nothing wrong anyhow,
Then I go look nearer,
Got bird shit on my head lah, wah lau!

By: Queen R

Somewhere, Out There

2008-07-10T22:09:00.003+08:00

Somewhere, Out There,
People had nothing to wear,
What they eat they'd share,
Their plights we're unaware.

Somewhere, Out There,
For a war they'd prepare,
Bloodshed they dun care,
Peaceful times are rare.

Somewhere, Out There,
Parents are mad, I swear,
Wounds inflicted beyond repair,
Children lived in a world of scare.

Somewhere, Out There,
Take a look and stare,
Pain, anguish, cruelty everywhere,
Who ever said that life is fair?

By: Shield Maiden Queen R

With You

2008-07-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

For all that you've done for me,
Not one, not two, not three,
The help you've given for free,
Just to answer my plea.

Finding you come what may,
Right there you were anyway,
I only have one thing to say,
For you, I will definitely stay.

I promise I'll try my best,
Going through every test,
I know I am so blessed,
That to you, I am no pest.

Although fatigue struck my brain,
The word give up I shall not entertain,
If, it so happen that I fail again,
Promise me you'll help ease the pain.

Ancient phrase I can recall,
United we stand, divided we fall,
With you around I know I shall,
Together with you I will stand tall.

By: Queen R

A person I once called “friend”

2008-06-29T00:30:00.001+08:00

A person I once called “friend”

We were very close
To each other
Problem comes, problem goes
We always face it together

Now things have changed
Since she have a new friend
I tried to reach but she’s out of range
I feel like our friendship has end

She’s not aware of me
Doesn’t contact me at all
I just let her be
She’s got a replacement after all

Though it hurts too much
Each day & night
Out friendship that was crushed
Will be hard to re-unite

By: Shield Maiden

Confession

2008-06-13T00:19:00.001+08:00

Confession

I know you're hiding something
You're just afraid to confess
Lie is all you keep telling
Cause you know you're in a mess

I just want to know the truth
The truth of your true feeling
I don't want to be rude
Neither do I want to be used

All your secrets
I know it's concealed
It's not like it's sacred
Just waiting for it to be reveal

By: Shield Maiden

The day I walked home alone

2008-06-08T20:14:00.001+08:00

The day I walked home alone

The moon is shining
In the dark quiet night
I find myself walking
When the path is out of sight

Why did you go?
And leave me behind
My heart is filled with sorrow
But you think it’s fine

Never had I thought
For a second of leaving you
But you betrayed that trust
I’ve carefully given you

I cried bitterly
And sing a sad tone
When I felt lonely
Cause that’s the day I walked home alone

By: Shield Maiden

Assalamualaikum

2008-06-03T18:00:00.001+08:00

A beautiful way to start a meeting
Serene, calm and forever pleasing
Sincere and never in dismay
Always signify a blessed day
Love is spread without knowing
Anger diffused without scolding
Much appreciated without a shout
Undoubted day in and day out
And not forgetting before we part
Like we did from the start
A simple way to express respect
In a phrase understood by every dialect
Keep in touch, the meaning within
Unspoken love, trust and respect in
Most peaceful phrase: Assalamualaikum

By: Queen R

Secret, Silent, Screams

2008-06-02T13:49:00.001+08:00

Secret, Silent, Screams

It’s dark & lonely
Like a world that’s empty
I’m here all alone
To fight the fear that finally shown
It took me away
While I look in dismay
I tried to break free
But it just won’t let me flee

I scream and shout
And yelled out loud
But no one heard
My cry for help
I lay quietly
And scream silently
I wished that someone
Is here with me

Weeks passed
Days lasts
Everything’s the same
So bored & lame
I heard a noise
More like a voice
I thought that help
Has finally arrive

I spoke too early
For my predictions aren’t really
What I hope it to be exactly
It came & glare
And stop & stare
For I know for sure
That this is my nightmare

It hurts a lot
But still I fought
For it won’t last
The way it start
Though its tough to say
That it’ll pay
I’ll continue to pray
That I’ll be free someday

By: Shield Maiden

SUCCESS

2008-05-21T19:53:00.001+08:00

S omething so sweet all crave for it
never U gly but is always so pretty
many don't C are how they achieve it
some wish they C an easily get it
others know it's not E asy at all
but they realise the very S weet delight
brought along with the joys of S uccess

By: Queen R

Friendship Tsunami

2008-04-29T12:52:00.001+08:00

The serenity of the majestic sea

Suddenly turned into a hungry monster

Just like the friendship of you and me

Which lost its status of friends forever.

The calmness of the receeding shoreline

The beauty of starfishes washed ashore

Resembled the very feeling of mine

Like those after a war, minus the blood and gore.

The children rushed, out of curiosity

Adults wondered, out of the blue

Our friendship was filled, with love and honesty

Oh, how could it end, or is it true?

A tsunami's approaching, Tilly Smith recalled

Warned her parents who warned them all

Just like that, our friendship was nulled

Was it even not worthed a call?

By this knowledge, many was saved

An award was what Tilly received

For this friendship, I have braved

Never again, I shall be deceived

By: Queen R

The Promise

2008-04-17T01:39:00.001+08:00

You came to me with arms widespread
Needing a shoulder, wanting a hug
There came a time you long dread
It made you feel like a slug

You cried on my shoulder
You bawled all night
You talk about the boulder
You carry with all your might

Perhaps you should stop
Perhaps it was too much
You know you cannot drop
Or even dream as such

I told you you need a rest
Take a trip to somewhere cool
A little break from all the test
The thought of it made you drool

You can't always show your pout
You need a break, believe me now
Change your clothes and let's go out
I'll teach you how to milk a cow

No, I mean let's go destress
Take the train and go to town
Have a meal or look for a dress
Don't let stress hunt you down

We watched a documentary on River Nile
Amazed at the discoveries scientist made
I was happy to finally see you smile
I just hope that it will never fade

To you my friend this promise I make
Never to forget our wonder days
Never give up for friendship's sake
You're my best friend in many ways

By: Shield Maiden Queen R

My Best Friend

2008-04-12T19:01:00.001+08:00

May 23rd 2005, the day my best friend moved to Australia. The image of her flashed through my mind. I looked out through the window. The rain was pouring outside. Was I crying because of the rain? Or was the rain pouring because of me?? The night was beautiful... It had always been beautiful. Wait, was that a shooting star? Silently, holding my pen...

My Bestest Friend

When I looked up in the sky

I see your face smiling down at me

memories of us passed by

and I remembered what you used to be

A person who called me

whenever I need a friend

a person who helped me

no matter where & when

Remember what we used to do,

when we went to the park late at night?

if we see a shooting star or two

we will always wish with all our might

To always be best friend

To always be together

To always do things hand in hand

To always look after each other

Even though you're not here with me

and I have to do things on my own

I will always remember forever more

the friendship that you have shown

So whenever I'm on my roof staring

and I see a shooting star at night

I would always find myself wishing

To have a best friend like you by my side

That made me feel a lot better. It's going to be okay, I told myself, and it did. =)

By: Shield Maiden